Bad Parking Cards
Nothing says Tough Guy like a humourously insulting business card slipped under the windscreen wiper.

But then nothing says twat like a badly parked motor.

The 'So Sorry' business card is the final word in an argument that - thankfully - never happened.

...and even better? They come in packs of 100!
buy this

80's TV Remote Watch
Chunky, clunky, and decidedly dodgy - this badboy could have come straight back from the future.

But show me a man who wouldn't want to change channel with their watch and I'll show you a man who knows style comes with a metal strap, and a metal coloured plastic body.

Sure it's made in China with instructions resembling a menu, and no, we wouldn't call it an investment for the future - but this slice of the past has one purpose; to be worn as a trophy to your complete and utter devotion to all things geek.
buy this

0% Body Fat Muscle Leggings
There. Are. No. Words.

Genuine "I.AM NERD" branded unisex leggings; one size fits all, apparently.
buy this

Dr. Dunn's Miracle WCR T-Shirt
To the ill-informed this is a simple white t-shirt with a large black T on it - and we'll be honest, that is pretty much the case.

But to those in the know, it's not piece of clothing - it's a deadly weapon.

For in the battle for female affection, this mofo is scientifically proven to make you 12% more attractive to the women. FACT.

Psychologists in Nottingham, England tested the t-shirt on college girls aged between 18-25 who believed the wearers not only looked more manly, with broader shoulders, and bigger chests, but were instantly more dateable.

So not only will you have more chicks than Old MacDonald, but you can cancel your gym membership.
buy this

Blood Stripe Military Watch
Money can't buy style - which is lucky, as what this watch lacks in expense, it makes up for in cool.

It features the must-have 22mm NATO blue and red nylon strap, night-glo dial, and brushed steel military inspired case.

It might not be built to last a lifetime, but while-ever it keeps ticking, you can rest assured, you'll look the bomb.
buy this